Diary
by Gravityfallsfan84
Summary: All Ralph and Vanellope were supposed to do was water Felix and Calhoun's plants while they were on vacation. However, things take an unexpected turn when they accidently broke Calhoun's diary(That's right, Calhoun's diary). Based on the Regular Show episode "Diary" and has one OC, but just ONE SWEAR!


A/N: Hello everyone! Don't know why, but after watching the Regular Show episode "Diary", I had an urge to write this, so I hope it's good. It was a Saturday night at Litwak's arcade. Ralph and Vanellope were walking in the hall of the Niceland building. "Ralph, let's water them later, I want to show you something."Vanellope begged. "No Vanellope,"Ralph said, "We're watering the plants now."  
"Tell me again, WHY did Felix and Calhoun ask you to water their plants while they were on vacation?"  
"I don't know."Ralph replied. "Me and Felix seem to be really good friends. I guess he just, trusted me."  
"Oh come on. I'm pretty sure Felix would of asked anyone."  
"Well, I don't see anyone asking you to water their plants."Ralph said. "Man, you're so up tight."Vanellope said back. "Just help me water the plants."Ralph replied. "Then, you can show me what you wanted to show me."  
After that was said, Ralph took the key Felix gave him and puts it in the key hole and opens the door. "Whoa!"Ralph and Vanellope awed. "I thought when Felix said he was 'Remodling', I thought he meant a few things."Ralph exclaimed. "Man, this is incredible."Vanellope also admitted. "Now, let's hurry this up so we can play!"  
"Okay, Vanellope." Ralph went into the kitchen and looked in one of the cabinets for the watering can. "Vanellope, can you help me look for the watering can?"  
"I guess."  
Ralph is still in the kitchen looking for the watering can while Vanellope goes in the bathroom to look for it, but with the same results as Ralph. Ralph goes to a closet, no watering can. Last, Vanellope tries to open one of the bedroom doors, but it doesn't open. "The bedroom door won't open."Vanellope informed Ralph. "The watering can wouldn't be in their room."Ralph explained. "Don't go in there!"  
"Okay, Ralph. Don't have a panic attack."Vanellope said. Vanellope looked on the ground and notices Felix's cap on the floor. She picked it up and put it on her head. "Hey, Ralph. Look. I'm Felix." Vanellope goes on the counter and picks up a regular hammer. "I can fix it!"  
"Vanellope, don't do that."Ralph warned. "It's okay, Ralph. You're a good friend, but it's not like we're real brothers."  
"Vanellope."Ralph said. "I told you to put those things away."  
"No, I want to wear it while watering the plants."  
"Put it back!"Ralph snapped. "Make me!"  
After that, Ralph begins to walk towards Vanellope, which somewhat freaked Vanellope out. After a few seconds, Vanellope began running away but she hit a bookcase and knocked a book with a lock on it to fall. The lock snapped off. "Vanellope, what did you do?!"Ralph asked. "So, you were the one that began walking towards me like an insane maniac."  
"Vanellope, you broke it!"  
"You can't break a book Ralph."Vanellope said. "And if we did, let's just put it back on the shelf and say nothing."  
"But this thing had a lock on it."  
"I didn't know books could have a lock."Vanellope said. "What kind of book is it?"  
"I don't know."  
Ralph flips the book to the first page, and it says "This diary belongs to Tamora Calhoun."  
"Oh no. This ain't good."  
"What isn't?"  
"This is Calhoun's diary."  
After Ralph said that, Vanellope began laughing. "This isn't funny, Vanellope."  
"No, I mean it's funny that Calhoun has a diary! And I thought her having the name Tammy was funny enough."  
"But she has one, that's broken!"  
"So, what's the big deal?"  
"She'll think we've been reading it!"Ralph shouted. "When she and Felix come back from vacation, they're gonna kill us!"  
"So, it's just a lame diary. Why do people even need to keep secrets. I don't have any secrets, do you, 'casue I don't."  
"I don't care! We need to fix this thing before they come back."  
Ralph looked at the lock and places it back on, but it snapped off. "Oh, come on!"  
"Relax Ralph. Let's just find Felix's magic hammer."  
"Actually, I remember Felix bringing it with him before he left."  
"Darn it! Well, maybe we can use glue." After Vanellope said that, she opens one of the cabinets and finds a tube of glue. "Here we go, 'Supe the Glue'."  
Now, Ralph and Vanellope are in the living room, the diary is on the coffee table. Vanellope is holding the tube of glue. The tube says "Supe the Glup".  
Now, Ralph and Vanellope are in the living room. The diary is on a coffee table and Vanellope is holding the tube. "Just a drop."Ralph said. "I know."  
"Just a drop!"  
"I know!"After that, Vanellope accidently squirts a lot of glue on the diary. "VANELLOPE! I said 'Just a drop.'!" "You were making me nervous!"  
After that, Ralph grabs a tissue and tries to wipe the glue off, but the tissue stuck to the glue. "Give me that glue."Ralph told Vanellope. Ralph turned around the tube and began reading the back. "Okay, it says the glue will come off with heat."  
"Let me handle that."Vanellope said. The two begin walking to the kitchen, then Vanellope places the diary in the microwave. "Wait."Ralph said. Ralph stops and remembers the last time they put random things in the microwave, which caused him and Vanellope to go back in time. "We're not putting anything in the microwave."  
Now Ralph and Vanellope are on the balcony, where Ralph turns on the grill, and the glue begins dripping off. "It's working!"Vanellope shouted happily. "It sure is!"  
However, the glue unites with the fire, which caused it to explode, which caused the diary to catch on fire. "OH MY GOSH!"Ralph shouted. Ralph and Vanellope frantically look around and Vanellope spots a container which contains a liquid in it. "I got it under control!"Vanellope shouted as she grabbed the container and begins squirting its contents on the diary. "Vanellope, that's-!"  
After that, the diary is now in flames. Not sure of what to do, Ralph grabs the diary, runs to the bathroom, and throws it in the toliet. "Now it's burnt toast."Vanellope said. "What are we gonna do?"  
After that, Ralph and Vanellope stop to think. "Wait, I know someone!"Vanellope shouted. "There's this person in Sugar Rush, who can help fix things, I mean, not like Felix, but he's still good at it."  
"Okay."  
After that, Ralph and Vanellope look back at the burned and wet diary, which is still in the toliet. "I'm not getting that."Vanellope said. -  
Now, Ralph and Vanellope are at the person's house. The person lives in a large Candy Cane tree, that has a door in the front of it, and the inside, unlike other candy cane trees, was hollow, but it had some fruniture(probably spelled that wrong)  
in it. The kid who lives in it is a fourteen year old boy named Taylor. "What is this, exactly?"Taylor asked. "It's a diary."Ralph answers. "Why does it look like that?"  
"It's a long story."Vanellope answers. After that, Taylor picks up the diary and begins checking it. "Sorry, I can't fix it with any traditional methobs."  
"Then do you have any non-traditional methobs?"Ralph asked. "Yes there is."Taylor answered. "There is one way. I could take anything from this diary to a new diary using a magic quil pen."  
"Thanks Taylor."Vanellope said. "Now, in order for this to work,"Taylor said, "We need to be in the same place where the diary was broken."  
"That's Felix and Calhoun's apartment at 'Fix It Felix Junior'."Vanellope answered. "But first,"Taylor said, "I want you both to know that diaries contains secrets that must be protected at all cost."  
"Yes Taylor, we know."Ralph said. "I hope you do. Look, I'm gonna help you guys, but you have to take this seriously and do exactly as I say."  
"Yes, Taylor. We promise."Ralph said. "And so will I."Vanellope said. -  
Now, Ralph, Vanellope, and Taylor are back at Felix and Calhoun's apartment. They are in the living room and Taylor places a journal on the table. "That doesn't look anything like Calhoun's diary."Vanellope said. "As in written content, so too in physical apperance, will the books become identical. Now, you guys, join hands."  
Ralph and Taylor join hands, but Vanellope doesn't. "I'm not doing that."Vanellope said. "Why not?" Ralph asked. "Because holding hands means that you love someone."  
"Just do it."Ralph said. "Fine Ralph. Geez."  
Then, Vanellope holds Taylor's hand. "Okay, it's time to begin."Taylor said. "Now, no matter what you hear, you must not look at Calhoun's thoughts as the quill transfers the secrets."Taylor opens the box that contains the quill, and it levetates. This stuns Ralph and Vanellope. "Now we must close our eyes."Taylor said. Taylor, Ralph, and Vanellope all close their eyes. "Begin."Taylor said, and after that, everyone hears a bunch of whispering noises. "What are they saying?"Vanellope asked. "Just keep your eyes shut and ignore them."Taylor answered. "How long is this gonna take?"Ralph asked. "It should be any minute."Taylor answered. However, Vanellope opens her eyes and sees a bunch of ghosts flying around. "Cool."Vanellope said in awe. After that, the ghosts join together and form into a very large ghosts and it screams at Vanellope. "AHHHHHH!"Vanellope screamed in fear. After that, the ghosts fades away and the table falls over. Taylor opens his eyes and is surprized. "The transfer is incomplete."Taylor said. "Did everyone keep thier eyes shut?"  
"I kept mine shut."Ralph said. Ralph and Taylor both turn to Vanellope. "What?"Vanellope asked. The two keep staring at Vanellope. "Alright, fine! I might've maybe, probably looked. Maybe."  
"Do you have any idea what you just done?!"Taylor shouted angerly. After that, Ralph, Vanellope, and Taylor hear a screaming outside. "What is that?"Vanellope asked. "It's coming from outside."Ralph said. Ralph, Vanellope, and Taylor go out to the Balcony. "Whoa!"Vanellope shouted. Outside, there was a giant, flaming Calhoun in a warrior dress, who was destroying the game and chasing the screaming Nicelanders. "Calhoun?!"Ralph said, confused and freaked out. "That's not Calhoun."Taylor said. "When Vanellope looked-"  
"I said maybe looked!"Vanellope corrected. "She released the guardian of Calhoun's secrets."  
After that was said, the trio notice the guardian is walking towards the apartment. "She's gonna destroy us for looking at her secrets."Taylor mentioned. "I'm too young to die!"Vanellope shouted. "What do we do?!"Ralph asked. "There's only one way to stop this."Taylor said. "We must reveal a secret of our own, or she'll destroy us. I'll go first. Ever since I was three months old, I had this blue teddy bear, and she was my favorite teddy bear. And to this day, I still love her, except now I date her."  
After that was said, Vanellope began snickering a little. "Teddy bear girlfriend."she muttered. Also, the flame around the guardian goes out for a second, but restarts. "It's working!"Taylor shouted. "Now tell your secrets!"  
"Okay,"Vanellope said, "Sometimes, when we are supposed to be helping someone, we just go out for hot chocolate."  
"Yeah, and I don't even like the chocolate!"Ralph said. "I just do it for Vanellope!"  
The guardian, however, is still alive. "No,"Taylor shouted, "It has to be something meaningful!"  
The guardian raises her fist, the trio scream, and she punches the balcony. "HOW MEANINGFUL DOES IT HAVE TO BE?!"Vanellope shouted. After that, the apartment begins shaking, the trio screams agian, and the guardian reahces for the roof. "IF YOU DON'T TELL A REAL SECRET, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"Taylor shouted. "All right, I'll do it!"Ralph shouted. "I like to sing along to really bad pop music!" The guardian rips off part of the roof. "I ATE A DOUGHNUT OUTTA THE TRASH!"Vanellope shouted. The guardian is holding a street lamp, and still looks the same. "I LIKE GOING COMMANDO, A LOT!"Ralph shouted. "I ACTUALLY LIKE THE TASTE OF DOUGHTNUTS BETTER WHEN THEY'RE FROM THE TRASH!"Vanellope shouted.  
The Guardian throws the lamp and his the couch. "VANELLOPE!"Ralph shouted. "Remember when I ordered you that cake for you and it didn't show up?! I lied! I ate it!  
I'm sorry, but it's just too good!"  
"WHAT?!"Vanellope shouted. The Guardians flames dies out, but restarts. It walks away and rips a tree out of the ground. "Vanellope! Say something!"Ralph shouted. "Uh. . . when I was little, I used to take Taffyta's bike and take it apart as revenge for messing with me!"  
The Guardian is unaffected and is about to throw the tree at them. "It has to be something deep!"Taylor shouted. "SOMETIMES I FILL RALPH'S SHOES WITH HOT FUDGE! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! I HATE TAKING SHOWERS AND BIRDS! I LIED ABOUT JOINING THAT GLEE CLUB! I THINK RANCIS IS CUTE!"  
Suddenly, the guardian disappers, and the balcony is back to normal, the couch is repaired, and other things the guardian destoryed is fixed. "Let's finish this!"Taylor shouted as he, Ralph, and Vanellope joined hands, closed there eyes, and the journal turns into Calhoun's diary. "Woah,"Ralph exclaimed. "It looks exactly like Calhoun's diary!"  
"Thanks Taylor!"Vanellope said. "How can we ever repay you?!"  
"You remember that stuff I said about my teddy bear?"he asked. "Yeah."Ralph said. "No you don't."Taylor said back to them. After that, Taylor leaves and Ralph puts the diary back on the shelf. "I knew something you had something to do with my cake not coming."Vanellope said to Ralph. "So, Rancis, huh?"Ralph said. "STOP TALKING!"Vanellope shouted as she began blushing out of embarrsement. -  
Now, it's Sunday afternoon,(the arcade is closed on Sundays) and as a little present for Ralph and Vanellope watching thier apartment, Felix and Calhoun decide to take them to a resturant called "Papa's Freezeria"(Papa's Freezeria is a game on a website called " .)  
Felix and Calhoun were doing something at the moment, which gave Ralph and Vanellope a moment to talk alone. "I can't beileve we got Calhoun's diary back together."Ralph said to Vanellope. "Yeah,"Vanellope agreed. "I never want to water their plants again."  
"Wait, did we actually ever water their plants."  
After that, Ralph and Vanellope stopped and had a worried look on their faces; They never watered their plants. "RALPH! WE NEVER WATERED THEIR PLANTS!"Vanellope shouted. "DON'T SHOUT IT!"Ralph said. "But wait, if we never did, why are they taking us for ice cream if their plants died?"  
"I BET IT'S PART OF A REVENGE SCHEME!"Vanellope replied. "EEK! Here they come!"  
After that, Felix and Calhoun came back and sat down. "So, uh. . . how was your guys' trip?"Ralph asked nervously. "Well, it was okay. . ."Felix said. "Okay?"Ralph asked confused. "The police came to our hotel room and mistaken us for some crooks and we were in a jail cell for twenty hours until they caught the real criminals."Calhoun explained. "Can you beileve they are two other married couples with our same names?"  
"Not really."Ralph said. "So, you don't have to worry about your plants or your roof being on your apartment or anything like that."  
"Yeah."Vanellope said, which was followed by a nervous chuckle. "Speaking of plants,"Felix said. Vanellope and Ralph had worried expressions on their faces. In their mind, they said "We're dead, we are so dead!". "You guys didn't go water them, did you?"  
"YES WE DID WATER THEM!WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"Vanellope shouted, sounding really nervous. Ralph palmfaced while Felix and Calhoun looked really confused. "Well, because we already asked that nice kid from Sugar Rush to do it."Felix said. "You know, the boy with blonde hair and wears the buttercup on his head."  
"Rancis."Vanellope said. She looked to Ralph and whispered to him "Told you he'd ask anybody."  
"Yeah, so, sorry that you had to go through all that trouble."Felix apoligized. "It's cool, Felix."Ralph said. "Yeah, it's not like we had anything better to do."Vanellope mentioned. The door for the resturant opened and Vanellope noticed that it was Rancis. This catches Vanellope's attention, and she begins starring at him. There was a resturant employee who was mopping the table where the group was eating, and around that area. Rancis was walking past them when he suddenly slipped and fell on the table, tipping it over. This leaves the group stunned and speechless, as they didn't know how to react. "They have got to get a 'Wet Floor' sign."Ralph mentioned. The End A/N: Well, sorry if my sentencing and grammar was a bit off. Anyway, this is my favorite episode, and I loved that part when Rigby(whoes Role was switched with Vanellope's mostly) admitted that he thought Eileen was hot without her glasses on(Even though I like them better on). Anyway, I'm thinking of making a parody of the Spongebob Episode "Pre Hibernation Week", with the roles of Sandy switchd with Calhoun and the role of Spongebob played by Felix. Anyway, I'm still thinking about that,  
anyway, I didn't remember everything of what the characters said that well, so I went on the Regular Show wiki and looked up the transcript for this episode. Anyway, Reveiw but no flames.) 


End file.
